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Is it Normal To Feel Anxious About Wedding Decisions? MMW 162



Do you often feel anxious about your wedding day? And the decisions that you have made for your wedding day? 

Do you worry that maybe you want to change your mind or you haven't picked the right things?

No matter what stage you are at planning these thoughts and feelings will come and go.

And even if you haven't planned things yet, this is something really important for you to listen to my advice on, because there is nothing worse than doubting your decisions.

In this episode I will cover:

  • If it's normal to feel like you have made the wrong decisions
  • Where your anxious wedding thoughts are coming from and how to identify if the thoughts are valid or not
  • How social media impacts your wedding decisions and thoughts for the worse
  • How to make wedding decisions and stick to them
  • What your wedding guests will actually notice on the wedding day and what will not be noticed and quickly forgotten
  • How to know you made the right decisions you wake up after your wedding knowing everything was perfect and you wouldn't change a thing


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Do you often feel anxious about your wedding day? And the decisions that you have made for your wedding day?

Do you worry that maybe you want to change your mind or you haven't picked the right things? I had a beautiful, lovely bride message me during last week. And she got engaged 18 months ago. So she started planning her wedding back then. And you know, because of COVID and everything, it's taken some time for her big day  to arrive. And she messaged me, because she was feeling really anxious. She was having thoughts like, I planned all of this so long ago and now I'm doubting my choices, the decisions I've made and the things I've picked, and is this a normal feeling.

So I thought that everyone listening to this episode needs to hear this. And even if you haven't planned things yet, this is something really important for you to listen to my advice on. Because there is nothing worse than doubting your decisions. And that is honestly very normal. Firstly, very normal feeling. It's very normal to feel anxious as your wedding day gets closer,

It is very normal to feel all those feelings of doubt, of anxiousness. And I think the majority of people will have that feeling. So don't panic yourself, if you have that feeling, or those thoughts. And sometimes we don't tend to tell anyone that we're thinking and feeling that way and we're not sure where that anxious feeling is coming from. And that is why I always say, at the very start of your planning, you've got to make sure that you've got a vision, a vision set in stone and stick to that vision.

Now, the lovely bride who came to me on Instagram knew from the moment that they got engaged, they knew their vision, and they, they did everything according to that vision, but she was still having those feelings. I think it's like we live in this world, right? Where social media is just out of out of control. And everything is Pinterest, or, you know, Pinterest crazy for your big day. And so there's constantly new things that are coming in fashion. And there's also constantly, you know, things that we see that we're like, oh, we've got to have that, because they saw it on social media. So we instantly think, oh, that looked amazing. But you know, these people are deliberately doing these things quite often for social media, I did a whole podcast episode on that, like, are you not doing things for social media, but doing it for your wedding. And for your love of your life. You know, don't get caught up in that social media craze. But we're humans, and we're naturally wired to want things. You know, I have two little kids and my husband cannot understand why they want absolutely Everything. But that is honestly how we're wired. No matter what age we are, we always want something. And we always want to change things. It's just like, growing up, you know how you always wanted to change your bedroom. I still actually love changing my kids bedrooms all the time, you know, the way it looks and the direction of the bed and all those things. And we do that even in our own homes. And it's the same for our wedding day, you know, we do the exact same thing we like, might plan something a year ago, and then all the fashion changes and the trends change. Or something comes along and we're like, Wow, that's amazing. But I've already booked and paid for everything. And that's why you know, making a decision and sticking to it is so important. Otherwise, you will absolutely do your head in in the lead up to your wedding day.

I know a bride that got married last year and I was meant to like run her wedding on the day and it was a beautiful wedding and she'd had changed dates three times because of COVID and then I ended up not being able to do the last date that she had, because I wasn't available. And there had been so many date changes, not her fault. And I know how many times she changed things and got, you know a bit stressed about it because she's in the was in the fashion industry. So that was a really big deal to her. And I can understand that because that is what she does for a living. But I'm telling you, all your wedding guests that are attending your wedding, they do not know what's in fashion for weddings, they are not looking at wedding stuff day in and day out, like you are like your non stop looking at it. They are not there at all. So whatever they see when they turn up to your wedding day, they are blown away. And they absolutely love it. And they think it's perfect, because they don't know any different. And fashion and trends change. So so fast. You know, I got married, it was nine years ago yesterday. And I honestly, look back at my wedding photos now. And yeah, there's things that have totally gone out of fashion, totally gone out of fashion that people don't have anymore and don't use but at the time it was in. But no one knew that then. And even now people that aren't getting married, don't know that. I know, looking at the photos, but I still love everything about my wedding day. Because our wedding day went perfectly and it went smoothly. And it's not all the details that make your day amazing at all. Yes, they make things look pretty, but they are not the things that you will remember. They're not the things that give us, you know, give us amazing memories forever. The only time we remember things is when it's connected to emotions.

For example, think of 911. Now some of you are much younger than me. I was in my early 20s at the time of Nov 11. And even when Diana died, I was in my late teens. And I remember exactly where I was. In those moments. I remember exactly when I heard what happened where I saw where I was. But that is because of the emotions attached to that. Do I remember what happened the day before the day after either of those events? No, not at all. Not at all. Because there's no emotions attached. It's like the best Christmas ever you've had, right? You always remember that best Christmas ever and why and all the things of that day. Because there's emotions attached. So people will remember things about your wedding they have emotions attached, they won't remember the colour of your tablecloths. They won't remember what colour your menus were printed on. Or what your placecard looked like unless it was a guest favour and they take it home. I can't remember most weddings and all those little details. And not just because I've been to hundreds of weddings as a planner. The ones I remember are the ones that are attached to the emotions, the ones where they were so in love. They had the best speeches. And when that song played when they walked down the aisle, like I remember their best weddings because of the emotions attached to it.

So it's really, really important that when you think oh my gosh, have I made the right decisions, that you remember what I'm saying in this episode, and come back and visit this episode over and over again if you need to, especially when you get closer. And sometimes a bit of anxiety can creep in or panic and worry, it could be linked to being nervous because everyone's looking at you. But quite often, it can be about the decisions you've made and, and thinking about those things.

So if you are listening to this episode, and you're like struggling to make decisions, or you want to keep changing your mind, please don't. Because you will not enjoy the planning process. I have a whole podcast episode actually, on decision making. I'll link it in the show notes because I cannot remember it off the top of my head. But I really highly recommend you go and listen to that so that you can make quick and easy decisions and know how to do that and how to stick to them. Because it is really really important.

But also know like I said at the start it's so normal to have these feelings like you're only human and it's about everything in life, everything. We sometimes doubt our decisions, but make a decision and put it aside and don't worry that you've made the wrong decisions or that you won't like it on the day because honestly on the day you are so caught up in the happiness and the emotions of the day that you are happy with everything. You know, if the chef's don't turn up to cook the food, you're not going to be happy with that, obviously but it's very rare that that's going to happen.

But all the things that you might not be happy with are usually very minor, and no one else knows except for you, like the roses in your bouquet, they weren't the exact colour and they couldn't get them on the day. They're not important, no one else knows that. But you. So be happy with the decisions you've made. And just remember why you're getting married and focus on that, and have all your feelings and your thoughts go towards that, you know, this is why I'm getting married. You know, I cannot wait to see the love in my life. That is all that matters in the lead up and on the day is marrying the love of my life, and that they turn up, right, that they're at the other end of the aisle. That is all that matters. And your day will be magic and beautiful. And you'll look back and you'll be so glad that you didn't waste your time making changes.

So I hope that helps some of you. And even if you're not this far into planning and not towards the end, take on board what I've said, because it is honestly so important. It doesn't matter the decisions you make, it's the emotions that are created on the day. So make a decision, stick with it, move on, don't think about it again. And if you're still feeling anxious, you know, just start to think you know, am I just feeling anxious because I'm nervous, because that's normal. It can be so nerve racking walking down the aisle and everyone looking at you and hoping your makeup and your hair is going to be nice and that your dress fits and all those little things and they're totally normal nervous feelings. Usually, they're more of the nervous, anxious feelings that you'll get than worrying about the decisions you've made. But you might sometimes confuse them and put them together.

And if you need some de-stressing, do some meditations. Even if you think meditations aren't your thing. Just download Insight Timer as it's free, do a five minute meditation, do one every day in the last three months of your wedding, even five minutes, it will calm you. If you don't want to do that try to journal, yoga, stretch, whatever it is, walk in nature without any earphones so you don't have any noise, just the nature. Just do things that will help you and help your anxiety and help you you know, stay focused and clear. And especially exercise and eating really well because that helps our brain and our nervous system function properly, too.

So I hope that helps you. And thank you so much to the beautiful bride who came and asked that question. It's such a valid one. It's important, and it's one most people feel at some stage. So I'm so glad I could share my answer with all of you. 

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